PS 3523 
.A592 
P65 
1916 
Copy 1 



Plays of the Washington Square Players 

NOTHER WAY OUT a 

Play in One Act by Lawrence Langner 



Y, Publisher 1916 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 



Another Way Out 

A Play in One Act 
LAWRENCE LANGNER 



FRANK SHAY : THE WASHINGTON SQUARE PLAYERS 
NEW YORK 1916 



52- 

.ft si* 

\1 



it 



Copyright 1916, by Lawrence Langner 



British and Foreign Copyright Reserved by Author 



For permission to give this play, 

apply to Washington Square Players, 

New York, or to Author 



/ 



JAN -4 1917 

©C1D 45820 



V. 






Another Way Out 



Another Way Out 

A Play in One Act 
$y LAWRENCE LANGNER 

Original Cast appearing in the first production 

by the Washington Square Players, at the Comedy Theatre, 

New York, November 13th, 1916 

Margaret Marshall Gwi,adys Wynne 

Mrs. Abbey Jean Robb 

pomeroy pendleton jose ruben 

Baroness de Meauvil^e Hei*En Westi,ey 

Charl.es P. K. Fenton Robert Strange 

Time — The Present 

Produced under the direction of 
Mr. Phillip Moeller 

Characters : 

Pomeroy Pendleton A Writer 

Margaret Marshall A Sculptress 

Charges P. K. Fenton A Salesman 

Baroness m Meauviu,e . . . . A Costumier 

Mrs. Abbey A Housekeeper 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 



SCENE : The studio in Pendleton's apartment. A large 
room, with sky-light in centre wall, doors right, left, set for 
breakfast; a vase with red flowers decorates the table. 
Center back stage, in front of skylight, modelling stand 
upon which is placed a rough statuette, covered by a cloth. 
To one side of this is a large screen. The furnishings are 
many hued, the cushions a flare of color, and the pictures 
fantastically futuristic. 

AT RISE: Mrs. Abbey, a benevolent looking, middle- 
aged woman, in neat clothes and apron, is arranging some 
dishes on the table. Margaret, a very modern young %vo- 
man, is exercising vigorously. She is decidedly good-look- 
ing — her eyes are direct, her complexion fresh, and her 
movements free. Her brown hair is "bobbed," and she 
wears a picturesque Grecian robe. 

Mrs. Abbey: Breakfast is ready, ma'am. (Margaret sits 
at table and helps herself. Exit Mrs. Abbey, left.) 

Margaret. (Calling) : Pommy dear. Breakfast on the 
table. 

Pkndi^ton. (From without.) : I'll be there in a mo- 
ment. (Margaret glances through paper; Pendleton enters, 
door right. He is tall and thin, and of aesthetic appearance. 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

His long blond hair is brushed loosely over his forehead 
and he is dressed in a heliotrope-colored dressing gown. He 
lights a cigarette.) 

Margaret : I thought you were going to stop smoking 
before breakfast. 

Pendleton : My dear — I can't possibly stand the taste 
of tooth paste in my mouth all day. (Pendleton sits at table 
— Enter Mrs. Abbey with tray. Pendleton helps himself, 
then drops his knife and fork with a clang, as he is about to 
eat. Mrs. Abbey and Margaret are startled.) 

Mrs. Abb^y : Anything the matter sir ? 

Pendi^ton : Dear, dear ! My breakfast is quite spoiled 
again. 

Mrs. Abbey. (Concerned) : Spoiled, sir? 

Pendleton. (Pointing to red flowers on breakfast 
table) : Look at those flowers, Mrs. Abbey — not only are 
they quite out of harmony with the color scheme in this 
room — but they're positively red — and you know I have a 
perfect horror of red. 

Mrs. Abbey: But you like them that color sometimes, 
sir. What am I to do when you're so temperamental about 
it. 

Margaret : Temperamental— I should say bad-tempered. 

Mrs. Abbey. (Soothingly) : Oh no, ma'am. It isn't 
bad temper. / understand Mr. Pendleton. It's just an- 
other bad night he's had — that's what it is. 

8 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

Pendleton, (Sarcastically polite) : Mrs. Abbey you 
appear to have an intimate knowledge of how I pass the 
nights. It's becoming quite embarrassing. 

Mrs. Abbey: You mustn't mind an old woman like me, 
sir. (Piano.) (The sound of a piano — hopelessly out of 
tune — in the apartment upstairs is heard — the player bang- 
ing out Mendelsohns Wedding March with unusual insist- 
ence.) 

Pendleton : There — that confounded piano again ! 

Margaret : And they always play the Wedding March. 
There must be an old maid living there. 

Mrs. Abbey : They're doing that for a reason. 

Margaret: What reason? 

Mrs. Abbey: Their cook told me yesterday that her 
missus thinks if she keeps on a-playing of the Wedding 
March, p'raps it'll give you an' Mr. Pendleton the idea of 
getting married. She don't believe in couples livin' to- 
gether — like you an' Mr. Pendleton. 

Margaret: No? 

Mrs. Abbey: And — I just said you an' Mr. Pendleton 
had been living together so long, it was my opinion you 
might just as well be married an' done with it. 

Margaret. (Angrily) : Your opinion is quite uncalled 
for, Mrs. Abbey. 

PENDivETON: Why shouldn't Mrs. Abbey give us her 

9 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

opinion? It may be valuable. Look at her experiences 
in matrimony. 

Mrs. Abbey: In matrimony, and out of it, too. 

Margaret. (Sitting) : But Mrs. Abbey has no right to 
discuss our affairs with other people's maids. 

Mrs. Abbey: I'll be glad to quit if I don't suit the mis- 
tress. 

Margaret. (Angrily): There! Mistress again! How 
often have I asked you not to refer to me as the mistress ? 

Mrs. Abbey: No offense, ma'am. 

Pendleton : You'd better see if there's any mail, Mrs. 
Abbey — and take those flowers away with you. 

Mrs. Abbey: Very well, sir. (Exit Mrs. Abbey door 
centre.) 

Margaret: What an old fashioned point of view Mrs. 
Abbey has — just because she's deserted three husbands. 
(Pendleton takes up paper and commences to read.) 

Margaret : Pommy, why do you stoop so. 

Pendleton : Am I stooping ? 

Margaret : I'm tired of telling you. You ought to take 
more exercise. (Pendleton continues to read.) 

Margaret : One reason why the Greeks were the greatest 
of artists was because they cultivated the body as carefully 
as the mind. 

10 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

Pendleton: Oh — Hang the Greeks. (Enter Mrs. Abbey 
right, with letters.) 

Mrs. Abbey: These are your letters sir. (Coldly.) And 
these are yours ma'am. (Exit Mrs. Abbey left.) 

Margaret: (Who has opened her letters meanwhile.) 
How delightful! Tom Del Valli has asked us to a party 
at his studio next Friday. 

Pendleton: (Opening his letters.) Both of us? 

Margaret: (Giving him letter.) Yes— and Helen 
Marsden wants us for Saturday. 

Pendleton : Both of us ? 

Margaret: (Picking up another letter.) Yes — and 
here's one from Bobby Watson for Sunday. 

Pendleton : Both of us ? 

Margaret: Yes. 

Pendleton : Really, Margaret, this is becoming exasper- 
ating. (Hold up letters.) Here are four more — I sup- 
pose for both of us. People keep on inviting us out to- 
gether time after time as though we were the most con- 
ventional married couple on God's earth. 

Margaret: Do you object to going out with me? 

Pendleton: (Doubtfully.) No — it isn't that. But 
we're having too much of a good thing. And I've come to 
the conclusion that it's your fault. 

11 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

Margaret: (Indignantly,) Oh — it's my fault? Of 
course you'd blame me. Why? 

Pendleton : Because you have such an absurd habit of 
boasting to people of your devotion for me — when we're 
out. 

Margaret: You surely don't expect me to quarrel with 
you in public ? 

Pendleton : It isn't necessary to go to that extent. But 
when everybody believes that we're utterly — almost stupidly 
— in love with one another, what can you expect? 

Margaret : You said once you never wanted me to sup- 
press anything. 

Pendleton : That was before we began living together. 

Margaret: What could I have done? 

Pendleton: (Up right.) Anything — just so we could 
have a little more freedom — instead of being tied together 
the way we are. Never a moment when we're not together 
— never a moment of freedom — never a moment when I'm 
not interviewed by special article writers from almost every 
paper and magazine in the country, as the only successful 
exponent of the theory that love can be so perfect that the 
marriage contract degrades it. I put it to you Margaret — 
if this is a free union it is simply intolerable! 

Margaret : But aren't we living together so as to have 
more freedom? Think of what it might be if we were 

12 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

married. Didn't you once write that "When marriage 
came in at the door, freedom flew out at the window?" 

Pendleton: Are we any better off — with everybody 
treating us as though we were living together simply to 
prove a principle? 

Margaret: Well, aren't we? You said so yourself; 
otherwise, how can we be a beautiful example to other 
people, and show them how to lead the pure natural lives 
of the later Greeks? 

Pendleton : Damn the later Greeks. Why do you al- 
ways throw those confounded later Greeks in my face! 
We've got to look at it from our standpoint. This situa- 
tion must come to an end. 

Margaret : What can we do ? 

Pendleton : It rests with you. 

Margaret: With me? 

Pendleton: (Dramatically.) You can compromise 
yourself with somebody — publicly. That'll put an end to 
everything. 

Margaret : How will that end it ? 

Pendleton : It'll break down the morally sanctified at- 
mosphere in which we're living. Then, perhaps, people 
will regard us as immoral — and treat us like decent human 
beings again. 

Margaret : But I don't want to compromise myself. 

13 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

Pendleton : If you believe in your own ideals, you must. 

Margaret : But why should / have to do it ? 

Pendleton : It will be so easy for you. 

Margaret : Why can't we both be compromised ? That 
would be better still. 

Pendleton : I should find it a bore. You, unless my 
memory fails me — would enjoy it. 

Margaret: You needn't be cynical. Even if you don't 
enjoy it, you can work it into a novel. 

Pendleton : It's less exertion to imagine an affair of 
that sort — and the result would probably be more saleable. 
Besides — I have no interest whatsoever in women — at least 
the women we know. 

Margaret: For that matter I don't know any eligible 
men. 

Pendleton : What about Bob Lockwood ? 

Margaret : But he's your best friend ! 

Pendleton : Exactly — no man ever really trusts his best 
friend. He'll probably compromise you without compunc- 
tion. 

Margaret: Yes — I'm afraid he'd be too dangerous — he 
tells you all his secrets. Whom will you choose? 

Pendleton : It's a matter of complete indifference to me. 

14 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

Margaret : I've heard a lot of queer stories about Jean 
Roberts. How would she do? 

Pendleton: (Firmly.) Margaret, I don't mind being 
party to a flirtation — but I draw the line at being the victim 
of a seduction. 

Margaret : Why not leave it to chance ? Let it be the 
next interesting woman you meet. 

Pendleton: That might be amusing. But there must 
be an age limit. And how about you? 

Margaret : (Takes cloth off statuette and discloses figure 
of Apollo in rough modelling clay.) Me — Why not the 
new model who is coming today to pose for my Apollo ? 

Pendleton: Well, if he's anything like that you ought 
to be able to create a sensation. Then — perhaps — we shall 
have some real freedom. 

Margaret : Pommy, do you still love me as much as you 
did? 

Pendleton: (Cuttingly.) How you sentimentalize! Do 
you think I'd be willing to enter into a flirtation with a 
strange woman — if I didn't want to keep on living with 
you? 

Margaret: And we won't have to break up our little 
home — will we? 

Pendleton: No, anything to save the home. (Catches 
himself.) My God! If any of my readers should hear 

15 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

me say that ! To think that I — Pomeroy Pendleton, should 
be trying to save my own home. And yet, how character- 
istically paradoxical. 

Margaret: (Interrupting.) Give me a kiss. Now you 
are going to philosophize. (She goes to him, sits on his 
lap, and places her arm on his shoulder; he takes out cigar- 
ette, she lights it for him.) 

Pendleton • (Brought back to reality.) I have some 
work to do — I must go. 

Margaret : A kiss ! 

Pendleton : (Kisses her carelessly.) There — let me go. 

Margaret : I want a real kiss. 

Pendleton : Don't be silly dear, I can't play this morn- 
ing. (Door bell.) I've simply got to finish that last 
chapter. (A bell rings, Mrs. Abbey enters and goes to 
door.) 

Mrs. Abbey: There's a lady to see Mr. Pendleton. 
Margaret : Tell her to come in ! 



Pendleton : But Margaret 



Margaret: Remember — (significantly) — the first wo- 
man you meet! (Exit Margaret and Mrs. Abbey after she 
has shown in the Baroness de Meauville.) 

Baroness de Meauville : (Speaking with a pronounced 
English accent.) Good morning, Mr. Pendleton, I'm the 
Baroness de Meauville! 

16 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

PkndIvKTon: (Recalling her name.) Baroness de Meau- 
ville — Ah, the costumiere? 

Baroness: Not a costumiere — Mr. Pendleton, I am an 
artist — an artist in modern attire. A woman is to me what 
a canvas is to a painter. 

Pendleton : Excuse me for receiving you in my dress- 
ing gown. I was at work. 

Baroness : I like to see men in dressing gowns — yours is 
very charming. 

Pendleton: (Flattered and pleased.) Do you like it? I 
designed it myself. 

Baroness: (Looking seductively into his eyes.) How 
few really creative artists there are in America. 

Pendleton : (Modestly.) You flatter me. 

Baroness : Not at all. You must know that I'm a great 
admirer of yours, Mr. Pendleton. Fve read every one of 
your books. I feel I know you as an old friend. 

Pendleton : That's very nice of you ! ( The Baroness 
reclines on couch; takes jewelled case from reticule and 
offers Pendleton a cigarette.) 

Baroness: Will you smoke? 

Pendleton: Thanks. (Pendleton lights her cigarette, 
then his own. He draws his chair up to the couch. An 
atmosphere of mutual interest is established.) 

17 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

Baroness : Mr. Pendleton — I have a mission in life. It 
is to make the American woman the best dressed woman 
in the world. I came here today because I want you to 
help me. 

Pendleton : But I have no ambitions in that direction. 

Baroness: Why should you have ambitions? Only the 
bourgeoise has ambitions. We artists have inspirations. 
I want to breathe into you the spirit of my great under- 
taking. Already I have opened my place in the smartest 
part of the Avenue. Already I have drawn my assistants 
from all parts of the world. Nothing is lacking to com- 
plete my plans — but you. 

Pendleton : Me — why me ? 

Baroness: {Endearingly.) Are you not considered one 
of the foremost men of letters in America? 

Pendleton : Yes. 

Baroness : Are you not an artist of taste and distinction ? 

Pendleton : {Modestly.) Didn't you say you had read 
all my books ? 

Baroness : Are you not the only writer who has success- 
fully portrayed the emotional side of American life? 

Pendleton: {Decidedly.) Yes. 

Baroness: Exactly — that is why I have chosen you — to 
write my advertisements. 

Pendleton: {Aghast.) But, Baroness! 

18 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

Baroness : You're not going to say that — it's so ordinary. 

Pendleton : But — but — you want me to write advertise- 
merits I 

Baroness: Please don't disappoint me. 

Pendleton : But — advertisements! 

Baroness: Yours would be wonderful! You may even 
evolve a new form of literature. 

Pendleton : Yes, I suppose that's so. But one has a 
sense of pride. 

Baroness: Art comes before Pride. Consider my feel- 
ings — an aristocrat — coming here to America and engaging 
in commerce, and advertising, and other dreadful things — 
and all for the sake of Art ! 

Pendleton : But you make money out of it. 

Baroness: Only incidentially. Just as you — in writing 
my advertisements, would make — say ten thousand or so — 
as a sort of accident. But don't let us talk of money. It's 
perfectly revolting — isn't it? Art is Life, and I believe in 
Life for Art's sake. That's why I'm a success. 

Pendleton : Indeed ? How interesting ; please go on. 

Baroness: When a woman comes to me for a gown — I 
don't measure her body — why should I? I measure her 
mind. I find her color harmony. In a moment I can tell 
whether she ought to wear scarlet, mauve, tope, magenta, 
or any other color, so as to fall into her proper rythm. 

19 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

Everyone has a rhythm, you know. (Pendleton sits on sofa.) 
But I don't have to explain all this to you, Mr. Pendleton. 
You understand it intuitively. This heliotrope you are 
wearing shows me at once that you are in rhythm. 

Pendleton: (Thinking of Margaret.) I'm not so sure 
that I am. What you say interests me. May I ask you a 
question ? 

Baroness: Yes, but I may not answer it. 

Pendleton : Why do you wear heliotrope — and the same 
shade as mine? 

Baroness: (With mock mystery.) You mustn't ask me 
that. 

Pendleton : I'm all curiosity. 

Baroness: Curiosity is dangerous. 

Pendleton : Supposing I try to find out. 

Baroness: That may be even more dangerous. 

Pendleton : I'm fond of that kind of danger. 

Baroness: Take care — I'm very fragile. 

Pendleton : Isn't heliotrope in rhythm with the faint 
reflection of passion? 

Baroness : How brutal of you to have said it. 

Pendleton: (Coming closer to her.) I, too, am in 
rhythm with heliotrope. 

20 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

Baroness: (With joy.) How glad I am. Thank God 
you've no desire to kiss my lips. 

Pendleton : Only your fuiger-tips. ( They exchange 
kisses and fingertips.) 

Pendleton : Your fingers are like soft pale waxen tapers. 

Baroness : Your kisses are the breathings that light them 
into quivering flame. 

Pendleton : Exquisite — exquisite. 

Baroness: (Withdrawing her hands.) That was a mo- 
ment. 

Pendleton : We must have many such. 

Baroness : Many ? That's too near too much. 

Pendleton: (Fervently.) We shall — dear lady. 

Baroness : How I adore your writings. They have made 
me realize the beauty of an ideal union — the love of one 
man for one woman — at a time. Let us have such a union 
— you and me. 

Pendleton : (Taken aback.) But I live in such a union 
already. 

Baroness: (Rising in amazement.) And only a moment 
ago you kissed me ! 

Pendleton: Well — what of it? 

Baroness: Don't you see what we've done? You are 

21 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

living in one of those wonderful unions you describe in 
your books — and I've let you kiss me. I've committed 
a sacrilege. 

Pendleton : You're mistaken. It isn't a sacrilege. It's 
an opportunity. 

Baroness: (Dramatically.) How can you say that — 
you whose words have inspired my deepest intimacies. No 
— I must go. (Makes for door center.) I — must — go. 

Pendleton : You don't understand. I exaggerated 
everything so in my confounded books. 

Baroness: Please ask her to forgive me. Please tell 
her I thought you were married, otherwise, never, never, 
would I have permitted you to kiss me. 

Pendleton : What made you think I was married ? 

Baroness: One often believes what one hopes. 

Pendleton: And if I were? 

Baroness: I have no middle-class ideas on the subject. 
Pendleton : You take it too seriously. Let me explain. 

Baroness : What is there to explain ? Our experience 
has been complete — why spoil it by an anti-climax? 

Pendleton : Am I never to see you again ? 

Baroness: Who knows? If your present union should 
end, and some day your soul needs — someone? (Exit door 
center — her manner full of promise.) 

22 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

Pendi^ton : (With feeling.) Goodbye — long, pale fin- 
gers. (Enter Margaret, door right.) 

Margaret: Did you get a good start with the scandal? 

Pendleton : Not exactly — I may as well admit it was 

a failure — through no fault of mine, of course. And now 

I simply must finish that last chapter. (Bxit.) (Margaret 
rings for Mrs. Abbey who enters.) 

Margaret : You may clear Mrs. Abbey. 

Mrs. Abbey: Very well, ma'am. (She attends to clear- 
ing the table.) 

Margaret: Mrs. Abbey — have you worked for many 
people living together — like Mr. Pendleton and myself? 

Mrs. Abbey: Lor', Ma'am yes. I've worked in nearly 
every house on the south side of Washington Square. 

Margaret : Mr. Pendleton says I'm as domestic as any 
wife could be — were the others like me? 

Mrs. Abbey : Most of them, ma'am — but some was regu- 
lar hussies ; not only a-livin' with their fellers — but livin' 
happily too. That's what I call real immoral. (Bell 
rings. Mrs. Abbey opens door centre and passes out. Con- 
versation zvith Pent on without is heard. Mrs. Abbey 
comes back.) 

Mrs. Abbey: A young man wants to see you, ma'am. 

Margaret: That's the new model. I'll get my working 

23 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

apron. (Exit Margaret door right. Mrs. Abbey calls 
through door centre.) 

Mrs. Abbey: You c'n come in. (Enter door left, Charles 
P. K. Fenton, dictionary salesman. He is a strikingly 
handsome young man, offensively smartly dressed in a black 
and white check suit, gaudy tie, and white socks. His hair 
is brushed back from his forehead like a glossy sheath. He 
carries a small black bag. His manner is distinctly "male") 

Fenton : Madam, I represent 

Mrs. Abb^y: (Points to screen.) You can undress be- 
hind there. 

Fenton : Undress ? Say— what's this ? A turkish bath ? 

Mrs. Abbey: Did you expect to have a private room all 
to yourself? 

Fenton: (Looking around.) What am I to undress 
for? 

Mrs. Abbey: The missus will be here in a minute. 

Fenton: Good night! I'm goin'. (Makes for door.) 

Mrs. Abbey : What's the matter ? Ain't you the Missus' 
new model? 

Fenton : A model ! Ha ! Ha ! You've sure got the 
wrong number this time. I'm in the dictionary line, ma'am. 

Mrs. Abbey: Well — of all the impudence — you a book 
agent — and a-walkin' in here. 

Fenton : Well, you asked me in, didn't you ? Can't I see 
the missus — jest for a minute? 

24 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

Mrs. Abbey: (Good-naturedly.) Very well. Here she 
is. (Confidentially.) And I advise you to remove that 
Spearmint from your mouth, if you want to sell any dic- 
tionaries in this house. 

Fenton: (Placing hand to mouth.) Where shall I put 
it? 

Mrs. Abb^y: You'd better swallow it! (Pent on tries to 
do so; chokes, turns red, and places his hand to mouth.) 

Margaret : (To Fenton.) I'm so glad to see you. (Fen- 
ton is most embarrassed. Mrs. Abbey, in surprise, attempts 
to explain situation.) 

Mrs. Abbey : But ma'am 



Margaret: You may go, Mrs. Abbey. 

Mrs. Abbey: But — but — ma'am 

Margaret: (Severely.) You may go, Mrs. Abbey. 
(Exit Mrs. Abbey in a huff.) I'm so glad they sent you 
up to see me. Won't you sit down? (Fenton finds it a 
difficult matter to handle the situation. He adopts his 
usual formula for an "opening" but his speech is mechan- 
ical and without conviction. Margaret adds to his em- 
barassment by stepping around him and examining him 
with professional interest.) 

Fenton : Madam — I represent the Globe Advertising 
Publishing Sales Co., the largest publishers of dictionaries 
in the world. 

25 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

Margaret: (Continuing to appraise him.) Then you're 
not the new model. 

Fsnton: No, ma'am. 

Margaret: What a pity. Never mind — go on. 

Fenton : As I was saying ma'am. I represent the Ad- 
vertising Globe Publishing — I mean the Globe Advertising 
Sales Publishing Co., the largest publishers of dictionaries 
in the world. For some time past we have felt there was 
a demand for a new Encyclopaedic dictionary, madam, one 
that would not only fill up a good deal of space in the book- 
shelf — making an attractive addition to the home, but also 
containing the most complete collection of words in the 
English language. 

Margaret : ( Who has taken a pencil and is measuring 
Fenton while he speaks; Fentons discomfort is obvious. 
He attempts to rearrange his tie and coat, thinking she is 
examining them.) Please go on talking — it's so interest- 
ing. 

Fenton : Statistics show that the Women of Average 
Education in America, Madam, has command of but fif- 
teen hundred words. This new dictionary Madam (Pro- 
duces book from bag) will give you command of over eight 
hundred and fifty thousand. 

Margaret: (Archly.) So you are a dealer in words — 
how perfectly romantic. 

Fenton : (Warming.) Most of these words, madam, are 

26 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

not used more than a dozen times a year. They are our 
Heritage from the Past, madam, just as much as our Flag 
is our Heritage from the Past. And all these words — to 
say nothing of the fact that the dictionary fills five inches 
in a book-shelf — making an attractive addition to the li- 
brary, being handsomely bound in half-cloth — all these are 
yours, ma'am for the price of one dollar. {He places dic- 
tionary in her hand. She examines it.) 

Fenton : If you have a son, madam, the possession of 
this dictionary will give him an opportunity of acquiring 
that knowledge of our language which made Abraham Lin- 
coln the Father of our Country. Madam, opportunity 
knocks at the door only once — and THIS is YOUR oppor- 
tunity — at one dollar. 

Margaret: {Meaningly.) Yes — this IS my opportunity. 
I'll buy the dictionary — and now {sweetly) won't you tell 
me your name? 

Fenton: {Pocketing dollar.) My name is Charles P. 
K. Fenton. 

Margaret: Mr. Fenton, would you mind doing me a 
favor. 

Fenton: {Looking dubiously towards the screen.) Why 
[ guess not, ma'am. 

Margaret : I want you to take off your coat. 

Fenton: {Puzzled.) You're not trying to kid me, 
ma'am ? 

27 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

Margaret: I just want to see your development. Do 
you mind ? 

Fenton: (Removes coat.) Why, no ma'am — if that's 
all you want. 

Margaret : Now — bring your arm up — tighten the mus- 
cles. (Fenton does as she bids; Margaret thumps his arm 
approvingly.) Splendid — you must take lots of exercise, 
Mr. Fenton. 

Fenton : Not me, ma'am. I never had no time for exer- 
cise. I got that workin' in a freight yard. 

Margaret : I suppose you think me rather peculiar, Mr. 
Fenton. 

Fenton : You've said it, Miss. 

Margaret: You see — I'm a sculptress. (Points to 
statuette.) This is my work. 

Fenton: You made that? Gee! that's great. (Exam- 
ines statuette.) Just like them statues at the Metropolitan. 

Margaret: That center figure is Apollo, Mr. Fenton. 

Fenton: Oh — Applollo. 

Margaret : I was to engage a professional model for it, 
but I could never hope to get a professional as fine a type 
as you. Will you pose for it ? 

Fenton: (Aghast.) Me? That feller there without 
any clothes? 

Margaret: Yes. 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

Fenton: (Dubiously.) Well — I don't know. It's kind 
of chilly here. 

Margaret : If I draped you — it would spoil some of your 
lines. (Seeing his hesitation.) But I will if you like. 

Fenton: (Relieved.) Ah — now you're talking. 

Margaret: So you'll really come? 
Fenton : How about this evening ? 

Margaret: Splendid — sit down. (Pent on does so.) 
Mr. Fenton you've quite aroused my curiosity. I know so 
few business men. Is your work interesting? 

Fenton : Well — I can't say it was — until I started sell- 
ing around this neighborhood. 

Margaret : Is it difficult ? 

Fenton : Not if you've got personality, Miss. That's 
the thing — personality. If a feller hasn't got personality — 
he can't sell goods, that's sure. 

Margaret: What do you mean by personality — Mr. 
Fenton ? 

Fenton : Well — it's what sells the goods. I don't know 
how else to explain it exactly. I'll look it up in the dic- 
tionary. (Takes dictionary and turns pages.) Here it is, 
ma'am. Per — per — why, it isn't in here. I guess they 
don't put in words that everybody knows. We all know 
what personality means. It's what sells the goods. 

29 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

Margaret: I adore a strong, virile masculine person- 
ality. 

Fenton : I don't quite get you, madam. 

Margaret : The men I know have so much of the femi- 
nine in them. 

Fenton : Oh, "Cissies." 

Margaret : (Flirtingly.) They lack the magnetic force- 
fulness which I like so much in you. 

Fenton : I believe you are kidding me. Does that mean 
vou like me? 

Margaret : That's rather an embarrassing question. 

Fenton : You must — or you wouldn't let me speak to 
you this way. 

Margaret: (Archly.) Never mind whether I like you. 
Tell me whether — you like me? 

Fenton : (Feeling more at home.) Gee! I didn't get 
en to you at first. Sure I like you. 

Margaret : Then we're going to be good friends. 

Fenton : You jest bet we are. Say — got a date for to- 
morrow evening? 

Margaret : No. 

Fenton : How about the Movies ? There's a fine fea- 
ture film at the Strand — Theda Bara in "The Lonesome 

30 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

Vampire/' five reels. They say it's got "Gloria's Ro- 
mance" beat a mile. 

Margaret : I don't know that I'd care to go there. 

Fenton : How about a run down to Coney ? 

Margaret : Coney — I've always wanted to do wild Pagan 
things. 

Fenton: Say — you'll tell me your name, won't you? 

Margaret : Margaret Marshall. 

Fenton : Do you mind if I call you Margie ? 

Margaret : If you do— I must call you — 

Fenton: Charley. Gee — I like the name of Margie. 
Some class to that. 

Margaret : I'm glad you like it. 

Fenton: (Moving nearer.) And some class to you! 

Margaret: (Coyly.) So you really like me? 

Fenton : You bet — say, before I go — you've got to give 
me a kiss, Margie. 

Margaret: Well — I don't know. Aren't you rather 
"rushing" me? 

Fenton: Say — you are a kidder. (He draws her up 
from her chair, and kisses her warmly on the lips.) 

Margaret: (Ecstastically.) You have the true Greek 
spirit. 

31 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

Margaret: If only Pommy would kiss me that way. 
Fenton : Pommy ? Who's Pommy ? 
Margaret : Pommy is the man I live with. 
Fenton : Your husband ! 

Margaret: No — we just live together. We don't be- 
lieve in marriage. 

Fenton: (Pushing her away in horror.) I thought 
there was something queer about all this. Does he live 
here? 

Margaret: (Pointing.) Yes. He's in there now. 

Fenton: (Excitedly.) Good night! I'm goin\ (Looks 
for hat.) 

Margaret: (Speaking with real anguish.) You're 
surely not going — just on that account. 

Fenton: (Taking hat and bag.) Isn't that enough? 

Margaret: (Emotionally.) Please don't go. Listen — I 
can't suppress my feeling for you — I never do with any- 
body. I liked you the moment I saw you — I want you as 
a friend — a good friend. You can't go now — just when 
everything's about to begin. 

Fenton: (Severely.) Fair's fair, Miss. If he's keep- 
ing you, you can't be taking up with me at the same time. 
That puts the finish on it. 

Margaret: But he doesn't keep me. I keep myself. 

Fenton : Wait a minute — you support yourself — an' live 

32 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

with him of your own free will. Then you've got no ex- 
cuse for being immoral — 'tisn't like you had to make your 
living out of it. (At door.) Good-bye. 

Margaret: But I can explain everything. 

F^nton : It's no use, Miss. Even though I am a sales- 
man, I've got a sense of honor, I sized you up as a mar- 
ried woman when I came in just now — or I never would 
have made love to you at all. 

Margaret : Oh — wait ! Supposing I should want to buy 
some more dictionaries? 

Fenton : (Returning.) You've got my card, Miss. The 
phone number's on it. Bryant 4253. (Sees Margaret hang 
her head.) Don't feel hurt, Miss. You'll get over these 
queer ideas some day — and when you do — well — you've got 
my number. Solong, kid. (Exit Fenton, door, center.) 

Margaret : ( Taking his card from table and placing U 
to her lips soulfully.) My Apollo — Bryant 4253! 
(Enter Pendleton.) 

Pendleton : Did you get a good start with your scan- 
dal. (Margaret hangs her head.) It's no use, I'm con- 
vinced that we're in a hopeless muddle. 

Margaret: I heartily agree with you. 

Pendleton : You've changed your mind very suddenly. 

Margaret: I have my reasons. 

33 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

Pendleton : The fact is — Margaret — that so long as we 
live together we're public figures, with everybody else as 
our jury. 

Margaret: But lots of people read your books and re- 
spect us. 

Pendleton : The people that respect us are worse than 
the people that don't. 

Margaret: If they wouldn't always be bothering about 
our morals. 

Pendleton : If we continue living together — we shall 
simply be giving up our freedom to prove that we are free. 

Margaret: (Faltering.) I suppose we ought to sep- 
arate. 

Pendleton: I believe we should. 

Margaret: We'll have to give up the studio. 

Pendleton: (Regretfully.) Yes. 

Margaret : It's taken a long time making the place home- 
like. 

Pendleton : We've been very comfortable here. 

Margaret: I shall miss you at meals. 

Pendleton : I shall have to start eating at clubs and 
restaurants again — no more good home cooking. 

Margaret: We're kind of used to one another — aren't 
we? 

34 



LAWRENCE LANGNER 

Pendi^ton : It isn't an easy matter to break — after five 
years. 

Margaret: And there are mighty few studios with as 
good a light as this — I don't want to separate if you don't. 

P^ndi^ton : But, Margaret. (Piano starts playing 
wedding march.) There — that confounded piano again — 
(Seised with an idea.) Margaret, there's another way out. 

Margaret: (With same idea.) You mean — we ought to 
marry. 

P^ndi^ton : Yes — marry and marry at once — that'll end 
everything. 

Margaret : Let's do it right away and get it over with. 
I simply must finish my Apollo. 

P^nd^ton : I'm going to buy you a new gown to get 
married in — a wedding present from Baroness de Meau" 
ville's. 

Margaret: I don't know that I want a De Meauville 
gown. 

P^nd^ton : Please let me — I want to give you some- 
thing to symbolize our new life together. 

Margaret : Very well — and in return, I'll buy you a 
dictionary, so that I won't have to keep on correcting your 
spelling. (Exit Pendleton. Margaret goes to phone, 
consults Fenton's card and calls Bryant 4253.) 

Margaret: Bryant 4253? Can I speak to Mr. Fenton? 

35 



ANOTHER WAY OUT 

(Enter Mrs. Abbey.) Mrs. Abbey. What do you think. 
We're going to get married. 

Mrs. Abb£y : Well — bless my soul. That's right. You 
can take it from me, ma'am, you'll find that respectability 
pays. 

Margaret: (At phone.) Bryant 4253? (Sweetly.) 
Hello, Charley! 

Curtain 



36 



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